/!\ This project is sexually explicit but also deals with heavy subjects like depression, therefore don’t read it if you’re under 18 or sensitive to this. There’s blood and explicit pornographic drawings. /!\
Ok, now this is where it’s starting to get a bit personal and embarrassing, sorry about that.
Time period : started around 2012-2013, I was about 19-20 years old.
Premise :
Ezel and Dehan started as a simple series of drawings I used to make while exploring my own sexuality. While I used to only think of myself as a straight guy, well, I had some hum… gay thoughts sometimes, and I had to put them on paper. That’s how I started to draw those two characters named Ezel and Dehan in their intimacy.
I even secretly stared them in one of my animation school project. A simple cameo no one noticed of course.
The video game project :
I then changed the design of Dehan for him to be much more masculine. I started to write a bit more about the two characters and their universe. It quickly started to become the premise of a kind of visual novel/point and click game :
The universe : The heroes live in a big military city in which all the citizens are part of the army and are sometimes sent on missions to investigate on strange phenomenons around the country. The country is mainly empty, but there are a few villages here and there. Various supranatural events occurs and are a menace to the people. The army is here to protect them.
Ezel : A calm, small and skinny 20 years old guy who is very shy. Often alone, he’s still spending a lot of time with his friend Dehan who’s very supportive and protective of him. He’s a mechanic and works at the military base on various missions.
Dehan : An enthusiastic courageous 27 years old tall and fit guy. He likes spending time with his friend Ezel and helps him overcome some of his difficulties. He’s a trained combat soldier who’s often sent on body guard missions. He sometimes ends up with Ezel on the same missions.
The feminine boy :
I explored his expression of feminity and softness a lot with him. He was my reference character for anything doing with “cute soft boy”, “girly boy”, etc. He was my “fursona” of back in the days I think, I’m not gonna lie that he was kind of a self insert.
Pushing for the androgynous cute boy look. I took inspiration from various furry artists I used to follow back in the day, most of which I still do.
Issues :
We all had difficult times in our lives. I explored some of them with him too. Depression, anxiety and the like. Bullying also.
I don’t want to go into too much personal details, but making art of my “bad times” was a good outlet. This is what I still sometimes do as an artist, I think it helps me move forward.
Sexuality :
More than anything, their sexual dynamic, Dehan being the strong dominant top, Ezel the fragile shy bottom, is what I like about them. I continue on this dynamic with a lot of my other projects. This might not be the most original, but that’s just what I like.
Gender :
Later, I started to make Ezel flirt with gender barriers.
Going full on making art of him taking hormons and stuff… Yeah, he’s a self insert.
I don’t think I ever made Ezel fully transition or anything as I stopped drawing and writing stuff on him around the time of my own transition. Still, on his last drawings I made him have some slight breasts and rocking some lingerie.
Oh wait, turned out I forgot about it, but I drew Ezel in shibari in 2020 and made him back into his previous design :
Nowadays :
Now, what do I want to do about them ? Well, I don’t know. I’ll probably never make a full on game or even completed project with them since this I kinda see those characters more like an outlet for me.
Though, over the years, I used a lot of concepts from this whole story in other projects of mine. Best example would be with Clover’s Space Beat.
Anyway, that was sorta embarrassing, but hey, I wanted to put it on here. Hope you enjoyed. And thank you for reading.
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